The December KGB Fantastic Fiction Reading series featured appearances by two talented young authors: Alaya Dawn Johnson, whose first novel Racing the Dark came out last year, read her short story “Down the Well” (full text online at the excellent Strange Horizons); and Chris Barzak read from his second novel, The Love We Share Without Knowing, which is just a few weeks old.
Because New York city saw its first (fluffy, gorgeous) snowfall on Tuesday and had its first major (and consequently less gorgeous) snowstorm forecast for Friday, I decided to pose the following scenario for this month’s Ridiculous Survey:
You find yourself snowbound in a cabin in the mountains for a week, but you’ve cleverly brought along two books: one to read, and one to burn for warmth. What are they?
Let’s just say that it’s pretty amazing how candid people become when they have a socially acceptable reason for holing up with some books and setting others afire. Check out the KGB-goers’ (heartfelt? irreverent? cruel?) responses beneath the cut and let us know what books you would have picked as cabinmates.
- Alaya Dawn Johnson: Read: Italo Calvino’s Invisible Cities. Burn: One of George R. R. Martin’s big fat books—A Clash of Kings, perhaps.
- Ben Francisco: Read: Ursula K. Le Guin’s Left Hand of Darkness. Burn: Laurell K. Hamilton’s Micah—hot and steamy, so, good for burning.
- Catherynne Valente: Read: Mark Danielewski’s House of Leaves. Burn: Robert A. Heinlein’s Time Enough for Love.
- Chris Barzak: Read: Dodie Smith’s I Capture the Castle. Burn: James Joyce’s Ulysses.
- Chris Cevasco: Read: the latest by Bernard Cornwell. Burn: the novelization of M. Night Shyamalan’s The Happening (if it exists).
- Douglas Cohen: Read: George R. R. Martin’s A Game of Thrones. Burn: Terry Goodkind’s The Pillars of Creation.
- Ellen Datlow: Read: the new Dan Simmons, Drood. Burn: There’s so many...any Sidney Sheldon.
- Ellen Kushner: Read: one of the big, fat Neal Stephenson books. Burn: a bestselling fantasy involving swords, dwarves, elves, and men who refer to women as “my lady”.
- Eugene Myers: Read: J. R. R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings. Burn: anything by Robert Jordan.
- Genevive Valentine: Read: Willa Cather’s O Pioneers!. Burn: Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight.
- J. D. EveryHope: Read: the complete works of Edgar Allen Poe. Burn: anything by Ayn Rand.
- Jason Eric Lundberg: Read: George Orwell’s 1984. Burn: Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight.
- Jim Freund: Read: anything by Terry Pratchett, because it will keep my spirits up. Burn: anything by L. Ron Hubbard, because his books are thick and worth it.
- John Joseph Adams: Read: Alfred Bester’s The Stars My Destination. Burn: Robert Jordan’s The Fires of Heaven—terrible, and also has fires in the title.
- Jordan Hamessley: Read: the Robert Silverberg-edited Science Fiction Hall of Fame, Volume 1. Burn: the entire box set of Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight.
- Josh Jasper: Read: Neal Stephenson’s Anathem. Burn: Neal Stephenson’s Anathem.
- Josh Starr: Read: Dan Simmons’ The Terror—should fit the snowbound theme. Burn: J. K. Rowling’s Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: expunge the epilogue.
- Kris Dikeman: Read: a book about the Donner party. Burn: Samuel Pepys’ diaries, because there were so many volumes.
- Liz Gorinsky: Read: Thomas Pynchon’s Against the Day. Burn: the New York City phonebook.
- Mary Robinette Kowal: Read: a Kindle with several books. Burn: the Braille edition of Leo Tolstoy’s War and Peace, because the pages are thicker.
- Matt Kressel: Read and burn: David Foster Wallace’s Infinite Jest, because there’s so much to go around for both.
- Meghan McCarron: Read: Roberto Bolano’s 2666. Burn: Stephanie Meyer’s Breaking Dawn, ’cause it’s bigger (that’s a smackdown on Genevieve)
- Mercurio D. Rivera: Read: Frank Herbert’s Dune. Burn: the NYC phonebook.
- Mike Greenhut: Read: Orson Scott Card’s Ender’s Game. Burn: Any book in David Eddings’ Belgariad series, in HC.
- Monica Byrne: Read: Mervyn Peake’s Gormenghast novels. Burn: Robert A. Heinlein’s Stranger in a Strange Land.
- Nora Jemisin: Read: Stephen King’s The Gunslinger—not the best book I’ve ever read, but does the most for my imagination. Burn: any romance novel with poser figurines on the cover.
- Pablo Defendini: Read: Neal Stephenson’s Baroque Cycle. Burn: L. Ron Hubbard’s Dianetics.
- Rich Blint: Read: James Baldwin’s Just Above My Head. Burn: John Updike’s The Terrorist.
- Rose Fox: Read: the unabridged Oxford English Dictionary. Burn: the unabridged Oxford English Dictionary.
- Tempest Bradford: Read: China Mieville’s The Scar. Burn: anything by Elizabeth Bear.
- Terrence Taylor: Read: Anthony Burgess’ A Clockwork Orange. Burn: the Bible, because of the volume and length.
- Veronica Schanoes: Read: Burning Your Boats, the collected Angela Carter. Burn: George Eliot’s Middlemarch.
If I mistranscribed your answer—or if you'd rather I linked to a different webpage or didn’t use your full name—please let me know via my shoutbox. And if I missed you this time, please come find me at the next event!
[Image by Flickr user Anosmia, CC licensed for commercial use.]
VIEW ALL BY · Saturday December 20, 2008 03:03pm EST
Burn: Any of the Stephen R Donaldson "The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant". I know the latter are deemed to be classics of the genre, so maybe I'll warm to (!) them this way (I tried "The Illearth War" and "Lord Foul's Bane").
VIEW ALL BY · Saturday December 20, 2008 05:58pm EST
To Read: my Sony Reader, loaded up with books, and the new China Mieville manuscript. (Really, ANY China Mieville novel)
To Burn: L. Ron Hubbard's Mission Earth (the entire ten volume unabridged edition).
Saturday December 20, 2008 08:43pm EST
The NYC Phonebook would be smarter, though, definitely. :)
VIEW ALL BY · Saturday December 20, 2008 09:14pm EST
Burn: patient charts (after they've been electronically backed up)
VIEW ALL BY · Sunday December 21, 2008 04:13am EST
Burn: The Eye of the World by Robert Jordan
VIEW ALL BY · Sunday December 21, 2008 04:36am EST
Burn: The Eye of the World by Robert Jordan
VIEW ALL BY · Sunday December 21, 2008 09:23am EST
Burn: With extreme pleasure, pausing to savor the blacking and spark of each turgid, mean-spirited, imagined-slight-redressing page, The Corrections, by that Franzen guy who used to be critically popular. (On second thoughts, the smoke would probably be especially noxious and toxic, full of distilled oedipal desires and long-festering resentment, so I'd probably settle for burning anything by a graduate of the Iowa Writer's Workshop. Maybe a Jane Smiley: hefty & overblown, but devoid of anything to truly love or loath.)
Sunday December 21, 2008 09:00pm EST
The pathetic thing is how grateful I was to be able even to merely consider the proposed scenario: Incommunicado? For a *week*? With nothing to do but ***read***??!
Sigh.
VIEW ALL BY · Sunday December 21, 2008 09:28pm EST
Sunday December 21, 2008 09:46pm EST
Sunday December 21, 2008 11:52pm EST
Burn: Anything by Terry Goodkind.
VIEW ALL BY · Sunday December 21, 2008 11:55pm EST
One is, "Well, I'd definitely burn X. I don't know what I'd read . . . maybe Q."
The other is, "I'd read Y. I don't know what I'd burn. . . maybe C."
I'm the second type, apparently, as I'd bring Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell to read, but have about fifteen ideas for things which I might or might not burn.
Monday December 22, 2008 05:10am EST
Burn: My old Algibra text book from school.
VIEW ALL BY · Monday December 22, 2008 08:59pm EST
Burn: Fahrenheit 451.
VIEW ALL BY · Monday December 22, 2008 11:37pm EST
Chris @ 3: Sorry if I accidentally left off your rationale. Plenty of people picked big fat books to burn just because of their size, so we needn't necessarily assume you were burning on merit. :)
Ellen @ 8: Thank you, but I can't take *too* much credit--it's really just a twist on the old forced choice scenarios. I often think about taking reading vacations as well, only to realize that they would be ruined by the guilt of all the things I'm actually *supposed* to be reading.
aamcnamara @ 12: I had the same experience--about as many cries of "But there are so many!" for each half of the scenario. I thought of my "burn" answer immediately because I'm a dirty cop-out, but there are any number of giant tomes I'd love to escape to a cabin with for a week.
Thursday January 29, 2009 11:57pm EST
My first visit to FF@KGB, and had a great fun time. Missed January, but will have to make sure I get back for February. Thanks for the link to my site -- one "r" in Terence, though -- Terences are sooo picky -- ;)
And my good friend Rich was kind enough to point out that "volume and length" would be redundant, so I must have left my mental thesaurus on again, or had more wine than I remember; though if I did, I suppose I wouldn't... ;)
Back to writing horror in a world gone mad...who knew I'd start looking like comic relief?